A few weeks ago I was at the Folk Alliance International Conference in Kansas City. For those who aren’t acquainted, this conference is one part music-nerd lock-in, one part hustle, one part no-sleep-i-love-everybody-aren’t-we-lucky-to-be-part-of-such-an-amazing-music-community. It’s 5 days of music of the mostly acoustic variety from 10 am to 3 am in the hallways, meeting rooms and private hotel rooms of a big hotel/conference center. Most people emerge exhausted but feel buoyed by the incredible coalescence of talent and kindheartedness.
I have long had a love/yikes relationship with this or any music conference. I love seeing and hearing all the musician friends I never see because we are all on the road or living in different places. I saw at least 3 new artists I was blown away by, and heard new songs from several friends whose growth and commitment to their artistry astounds and inspires me.
The yikes is having to “network” or feel competition vibes. Also, despite being mostly embraced by the folk community historically, I live with the sneaking feeling that I’ll never fit in anywhere.
WILMINGTON, NC! Coming your way for the first time ever Saturday 3/23 at Live at Ted’s! I’ll be joined by Russell Kelly on electric guitar. GET TICKETS
The sleepless love/confusion state led me to question why I was there, at the conference. There were hundreds of other songwriters there - many younger, better at self-promotion, cuter - why was I needed? Why exactly do I do this again?
I sat in my hotel room looking at a wilting room service arugula salad out of which I’d picked the candied pecans because sugar sometimes bothers my stomach. Oh right! I remembered - I’m in it for the love. I started to cry. A career/vocation that makes no sense on paper, leads to strained relationships, often means loneliness and leaves me comparing my work to anyone who has more followers than me. Here was the bigger reason: I’m in it for the love.
Love is the end of the line for me. It’s the whole point of any endeavor, and it right-sizes my struggles when I put that force above me. I sat down and wrote the bones of a new song.
For my paid subscribers, below the tour dates is my first rough live version of “In It For the Love”, filmed last week at Molly’s House Concerts in Chicago by one of the best fans ever, justfrag.
WINSTON-SALEM! I’ll be teaching a one-day Songwriting Workshop at The CMPND! We’ll get you writing right away, then discuss ways to structure a song, how to create emotional impact, tools to face down writers’ block and more! Limited to 10 students so RSVP to get a spot!
UPCOMING SHOWS:
3/23 Live at Ted’s, Wilmington, NC
4/4 Club Passim, Boston, MA - w/special guest Jenny Reynolds - tickets going fast!
4/7 Rosie’s Cafe, Brick, NJ - email for reservations
4/9 The Bitter End, New York, NY - John Platt’s On Your Radar Show
4/16 The Flat Iron, Greensboro, NC - Abigail Dowd’s Songwriter in the Round
4/28 CMPND - Songwriting Workshop in Winston-Salem
5/5 Muddy Creek Music Hall at Old Salem, Winston-Salem, NC - co-bill with Karyn Oliver
5/24 Muddy Creek Music Hall, Sparta, NC - FULL BAND SHOW!
6/6 The Martha Bassett Show, Elkin, NC
6/20-23 Moccasin Creek Music Festival, Effingham, IL
I’m in the process of transferring my paid content from Patreon to Substack and hope you’ll consider upgrading to a paid subscription to access new song demos, rehearsal footage, and my 3rd Sunday Salons - where my fans and I gather over zoom and co-create playlists together around different themes each month.
In It For The Love
This was a first pass and a first performance and it felt safe to try it live, where nothing is forever. Although now I’m sharing with you all, so…
No guarantees this is where this song will end up. Thanks to the lovely Virginia who agreed to hold the lyric for me and act as moral support.
Click the image to watch the private YouTube of it:
Here is the lyric:
Back when this whole thing started I was fresh and new Full of grand ambition A lot of hot air too Men in suits lined up To tell me I was great Wasn’t sure what they wanted I was only being an artist Sometimes touching greatness Sometimes feeling overrated Still I went around the world Sometimes to cameras and applause Other times to jet lag, sore throats, and empty bars Tried to walk away more times Than I’ll admit to you But in spite of all the questioning Trying to conquer everything Wondering if I’m anything at all Some part of me knew I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love And love has come back to me Though sometimes I forget Angels in a world That hasn’t figured it out yet Like a stranger who would drive me To my next invitation A young girl who told me My words were her salvation A 100 dollar bill that would end up in my jar Genius crazy artist friends Changing the world with songs and pens The blessing just to stand here And share what I’m seeing I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love I’m in it for the love When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires Will come to you It’s been a long, rocky journey To scale something real Not just what it looks like But how it makes you feel You care less and less Who it makes sense to The more times you get goosebumps From touching something true And if you’re still listening It means you’re more like me Than maybe you give yourself permission to be A seeker, a dreamer at the end of the day You’re not letting something like the world get in your way Saying I don’t want a different life Only grateful for this life Come on sing it with me I know you’re wanting to We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love We’re in it for the love
Share this post